Here’s a version of the set I performed at Richard Sandling‘s Perfect Movie last Tuesday:

“It’s nice to be back. Back amongst my kind people. I mean, sure I might be single but at least I can name all of the Christopher Lee Fu Manchu movies. Am I right?

In 1984 a film came out called Breakdance 2: Electric Boogaloo, and ever since then people have been jokingly adding the sub-title “Electric Boogaloo” to any film sequel that ends with a numeral 2. For example you could say
“You know what I watched the other day. I re-watched that Young Guns 2: Electric Boogaloo”, which is funny because Young Guns 2 is actually subtitled Young Guns 2: Blaze of Glory, so I’ve changed it to make it more silly. Or you could even say
“You know what film I’d never seen until last year? The Godfather: Part 2: Electric Boogaloo.” Which is funny because it’s a drama. Or you might even say
“You know what the worst British film of all time is don’t you? Yeah it’s Rita, Sue and Bob Too: Electric Boogaloo. Which to be fair, doesn’t work as well. Now I’m as guilty as anyone at this. I’ll hold my hands up and say “yes” I’ve made that joke, and I’m sure some of you have made that joke too, and that’s fine. All I’m saying is STOP IT NOW! It’s been around for 26 years. We’ve all heard it.

So to help you all out. I’ve come up with a replacement for this that you can all do instead. What I want you to do is, when you say a film title – the sillier the better, and you say the following
“I saw that Snakes on a Plane the other day” and then you say
“Or to give it, its full title: Snakes on a Plane: Based on the Novel Push By Sapphire”, because I think we now have a new contender for the most ridiculously named movie of all time. I think it’s even better than my previous favourite Francis Ford Coppola’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula. I haven’t seen Precious: Based on the Novel Push By Sapphire, and nor do I intend to, and that’s pretty much because it’s title creates more questions that it answers. Firstly, why isn’t it just called Push? I can only presume that this is so people don’t confuse it with PUSH, another movie from last year starring Chris Evans (not that one). PUSH was about a group of teenagers with telekinetic powers and Precious: Based on the Novel Push By Sapphire is also about a teenager, but this time one that has been raped by her own dad. Now if the makers of Precious: Based on the Novel Push By Sapphire, really think that I will be confused by the two, then I’m really not the right audience for this film, and this brings me to my second point: Why didn’t they just call it Precious then? Well, again, presumably this was because they felt they wanted the audience to associate the film Precious: Based on the Novel Push By Sapphire with the novel Push By Sapphire. I’ve never met anyone who’s ever heard of the novel Push by Sapphire, so why is this a selling point? Call me judgemental but you wouldn’t read a book whose author has named themselves after a gemstone, so why would you watch a film based on one of her books? So I looked it up on Amazon and sure enough it doesn’t only now the movie Precious: Based on the Novel Push By Sapphire is so much more famous than the novel Push by Sapphire that it the novel has honestly been renamed Precious: Based on the Novel Push By Sapphire by Sapphire. That’s almost true look it up.”

Then I did this, and then I did this:

“How do I top that. I know: The Face of Fu Manchu, Vengeance of Fu Manchu, Blood of Fu Manchu, Castle of Fu Manchu, Brides of Fu Manchu, Fu Manchu: Based on the novel Push By Sapphire, and Fu Manchu 2: Electric Boogaloo.”

My upcoming gigs now look like this:

Sunday 28th March 2010
Laughing Horse Richmond
The Hope of Richmond,
115-117 Kew Road,
Richmond,
TW9 2PN
8.30pm (8pm Doors)
£5 (£4 Concessions)
Reservations: 07913 460 295
Book Online
Website
Quarter Final of the Laughing Horse New Act of the Year 2010 comptetion. Be nice to have your support.

Thursday 1st April 2010
Freedom of the Fringe,
The Torriano,
71-73 Torriano Avenue,
London,
NW5 2SG
8.30pm (8pm Doors)
£3
Facebook

Monday 5th April 2010
Every Other Monday,
The Camden Head Pub,
2 Camden Walk,
Camden Passage,
London,
N1 8DY
8pm
Free
New material night with Tom Goodliffe, Broderick Chow, George Ryegold, Hannah Warman, Rosie Wilby and others.
Facebook

Wednesday 14th April 2009
The Duke’s Headliners,
The Duke’s Head,
Lower Richmond Road,
Putney,
London
SW15 1JN
8pm (7.45pm Doors)
£7 (£5 in advance)
To book, tel: 07966 176 049 or email:
dukesheadliners@googlemail.com
Excellent line up with Simon Munnery, Brett Goldstein, Joey Page, Adam Tempest and Paul Laight.
Website

Sunday 23rd May 2010
Monkey Chews,
2 Queen’s Crescent,
London,
NW5 4EP

Tuesday 25th May 2010
The Lost Treasures of the Black Heart
The Black Heart Pub
3 Greenland Place
Camden
London
NW1 0AP
8pm
£5
With Josie Long, and others.

Thursday 24th June 2010
Cheeky Chimp Comedy!
Trent Park Golf Club,
Southgate,
London,
N14 4UW
8pm (Doors 7pm)
£7 (£5 in advance and Students)
Reservations: cheekychimpcomedy@live.co.uk
Website

Thursday 1st July 2010
Downstairs at the King’s Head,
2 Crouch End Hill,
London,
N8 8AA
8.30pm (Doors 8pm)
£4 (£3 Concessions)
Website

Monday 5th July 2010
West End Comedy Club,
The Comedy Pub,
7 Oxendon Street,
London,
SW1Y 4EE
8:30pm (8pm Doors)
£5
Facebook

Tuesday 6th July 2010
The Lost Treasures of the Black Heart
The Black Heart Pub
3 Greenland Place
Camden
London
NW1 0AP
8pm
£5
With Josie Long, and others.