Rita, Sue and Bob Too! (1986)
This awful film starring George Costigan has started to gain some kudos as some kind of classic kitchen sink comedy, which it obviously isn’t. Sure it might be directed by Alan Clarke who made loads of great, worthwhile movies and TV plays like Scum, Made in Britain and The Firm, but unfortunately he also made Rita, Sue and Bob Too! thus undoing all of this good work. Sam Peckinpah‘s film Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid has a soundtrack by Bob Dylan, The Graduate has a soundtrack by Simon and Garfunkel, and appropriately Rita, Sue and Bob Too! has a soundtrack by Black Lace. I rest my case your honour. If they ever make Rita, Sue and Bob Three! I will shoot myself in the face.

The Hawk (1993)
Chances are you’ve never heard of this movie, which hopefully means you’ve never seen it, but that’s not the point it’s still one of the worst movies ever made. It just is. It’s a British thriller starring Helen Mirren as woman who suspects her husband might be a serial killer. So far so Cracker, but what it is actually is, is an offensive, nasty little film which also stars George Costigan. I think that this officially makes Costigan the worst actor of all time. He’s not necessarily a bad actor, but he is the WORST one. For those of you who don’t know, Costigan is like the poor mans David Threlfall. Every script that Costigan receives has Threlfall’s finger prints all over them. In the same way that Deep Roy has a good CV, Costigan has a bad one. He even starred in So Haunt Me, one of the worst sitcoms of all time.

Hellraiser (1987)
Influential Horror bollocks. I love British Horror movies of the 1950s, 60s, and 70s. I can watch endless amounts of them. I’m always trying to pinpoint the moment when they stopped being ace, and became the worst thing ever. I’m still not sure, but I do know it was definitely before Hellraiser came out. Hellraiser: The movie that ruined British Horror, a genre that goes back beyond cinema.