A little while ago the comedian David Trent asked me to write him a blogpost about films that he will love but hasn’t seen, because he has just got a Love Film subscription. Now I don’t know all of the films that David Trent has ever seen but here is my best effort.
The Small World of Sammy Lee (1963)
I’m always banging on about how good this film is, but I won’t rest until it’s a bonifide recognised classic.
The Small World of Sammy Lee on Love Film
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970)
As a fan of Peter Bagge comics and psychedelia I can’t imagine David Trent won’t like this fantastic Russ Meyer movie.
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls on Love Film
Faster Pussycat Kill.. Kill! (1966)
And while your at it grab this other Russ Meyer classic.
Faster Pussycat Kill.. Kill! on Love Film
The Innocents (1961)
Creepy black and white ghost story starring Deborah Kerr and Peter Wyngarde. Adapted from Henry James‘ novel The Turn of the Screw by Truman Capote. Like the Village of the Damned movies it features weird kids voiced by grown women for extra creep. A huge influence on 2007′s The Orphange.
The Innocents on Love Film
Village of the Damned (1960)
And while we’re on the subject for good measure. Eagle-eyed readers might also notice that it’s the same boy in both pictures. Spooky.
Village of the Damned on Love Film
The Holy Mountain (1973)
Alejandro Jodrowsky‘s psychadelic masterpiece. See also El Topo.
The Holy Mountain on Love Film
The Haunted House of Horror (1969)
Swinging sixties protoype for many a 1970s slasher movies to come. Carnaby Street mods are bumped off one by one in an old abandoned house. Meanwhile old, square, night police inspector; Dennis Price (off of Kind Hearts and Coronets) blackly-comically fails to notice the urgency of reports coming in to do with the mansion. It also stars sixties pop stars Frankie Avalon and Mark Wynter, alongside Richard O’Sullivan and George Sewell. A young David Bowie was also supposed to star but is instead replaced by someone else who looks a lot like him. Mixes violent horror with black comedy, not for everyone but there’s something about it I really, really love.
The Haunted House of Horror on Love Film
Josie and the Pussycats (2001)
Hilarious, misunderstood music business satire. Much more in common with Beyond the Valley of the Dolls than other teen movies of the time.
Josie and the Pussycats on Love Film
That Thing You Do (1996)
Brilliant recreation of a fictional one-hit-wonder band from 1964 with a believably catchy hit record. Lovely film.
That Thing You Do on Love Film
Kids in the Hall – Brain Candy (1996)
Simply one of the funniest comedy films of all time. Watch this clip.
Horror Hotel (1961)
Its terrible title (also known as The City of the Dead) doesn’t do justice to this brilliant film. It’s a perfect companion piece to double-bill with The Wicker Man, and deals with witchcraft. It’s a British movie set in Salem so all of the British cast including Christopher Lee and Valentine Dyall speak in American accents which only adds to its oddness. It’s low budget means that even its exterior shots are filmed on sets with beautiful black and white photography which makes it feel like early David Lynch meets German Expressionism. An unsettling out of the ordinary British horror from the time. Watch the whole film here. Its low resolution will mean that you’ll miss some of the photography but you’ll get the idea.
Horror Hotel on Love Film
The Blood on Satan’s Claw (1971)
Another brilliant companion piece to The Wicker Man and arguably better. Mark Gatiss of The League of Gentlemen once described the plot of this film as “The Devil returns, grown on the skin of children” and that creepy summation pretty much covers it. It also features an amazing soundtrack.
The Blood on Satan’s Claw on Love Film
Carnival of Souls (1962)
Another very creepy David Lynch-esque horror. Bits of which can still creep me out even though I know what’s coming. Watch the whole thing here.
Carnival of Souls on Love Film
…And remember these films aren’t just for David Trent. They’re for everyone.
Tags: 100 days
Holy fuck man, that is awesome. You are surely a good man Nathaniel even if you did let the fell foot four down massively. This more than makes up for it. I will post all my reviews of all my movies here as soon as I watch them. I am looking forward equally to Josie and the Pussycats and the Holy Mountain. All the rest come second.
Oh, I forgot to say – “This post is like Mark Kermode…on Ecstacy”
The Holy Mountain is AMAZE. It’s like Ferris Bueller’s Day Off on Amilnitrate.
Had you already seen any of them Trent?
Nope.
I’ve seen a bit of faster pussycat I think, when I used to pretend in my head that I was in mudhoney in the 90′s, but other than that, none of them. You’ve done remarkably well…
Not if you don’t like any of them.
Faster Pussycat and That Thing That You Do are in the post.
Come on. 60′s beat groups + Tom Hanks – 2 of the best things EVER. How can I not like it?
That Thing That You Do. A review by David Trent.
The bad guy from Avatar breaks his arm at the beginning and doesn’t get in the band – is this why he turned bad and tried destroy that forest? He broke his arm jumping over a parking meter like a dick. As soon as he started jumping over the parking meter I thought “HANG ON, DON’T JUMP OVER THE PARKING METER, YOU’LL BREAK YOUR ARM YOU DICK,” But he couldn’t hear my thoughts and he did it twice more. The second time he broke his arm. He didn’t seem to give a shit that the rest of the band went on the telly without him. What a good guy.
There is a guy called Shades. He is a bit of a smug dick. He plays the drums. He tries to get off with Liv Tyler. He likes booze and jazz. He makes a hit record. He hangs out with Tom Hanks. He is really fucking boring. He keeps saying “I am spartacus,” even though his name is shades. This is the main source of his dickishness. He says “I am spartacus,” before he plays his song one time. He says it at some other inopportune moments. He should get some new material.
There is a bloke with an quiff. He pissed me off just for having a quiff. He sings harmonies and plays the guitar. He gets married and cries. He is also a dick.
There is a real dick who is mean to Liv Tyler. What a dick. She wasted thousands and thousands of kisses on that guy. DICK.
There is a real cool guy. He wants to be in the marines. He is not allowed to swear at the church. He goes to disney land with a bunch of soldiers. He gets replaced by a guy called Wolfman. Unsuprisingly, Wolfman is a dick. A dick with no charisma who does a really unbelivably dickish bit of showing off when he joins the band.
Shades Dad is also a dick.
Basically, this is a film if you really want to watch a film which has loads and loads of dicks in it, a guy from Aerosmith’s daughter, the bad guy from Avatar, Tom Hanks and a really cool guy who can do one hundred press ups.
I have no idea how it ends. I stopped watching it when Liv Tyler was looking in a mirror. I am willing to bet £5 that Liv Tyler ends up getting off with the dick called Shades and that after he gets off with her he says “I AM SPARTACUS” and then he walks off down a street with his arm around her and then they go on a fairground ride and on the right of the screen you see like a comet fall out of the sky into the sea and then the next thing you know a massive monster lands on the empire state building.
That is the best thing about Astroboy by the way. Right at the end suddenly a massive eye appears in the sky appropros of nothing and everyone shouts “HOLY FUCK, ALIEN ATTACK” and then Astroboy flies up and punches the eye in the eye.
Score – 5 out of 5.
David Trent
There’s a job going at Film 2010…
Josie and the Pussycats. A review by David Trent
There is a load of girls. They are screaming about how they want to touch a boyband. They are implying that they want to touch the boyband on their penises. The boyband sing. They are dickish. The guy who used to wind up “E” on Entourage about having fucked “E”‘s girlfriend is wearing a top hat. He looks like a dick.
They get into a plane with the man from Spy Kids and the documentary on Victoria Wood. They all have an argument which makes them all look like dicks. Then they say they don’t like a remix of a song. Just because they don’t like a remix of a song, the man from Spy Kids and the documentary on Victoria Wood parachutes out of the plane with the pilot and kills them.
Punk rock starts playing. It is hardcore, but not actually hardcore. Three girls pretend to be playing the hardcore music. The bass player is smiling a lot when she plays which seems incongruous because she is playing hardcore punk. The drummer is a hippy, but she likes playing hardcore punk too. I bet she is going to be kooky – a bit like the one from friends – PHOEBE, THAT’S HER – yeah, I bet she is going to be a bit like Phoebe from friends – oh, she is.
The hardcore song ends. They say thankyou to the crowd, but they aren’t in an arena – They are in a BOWLING ALLEY!!! It is a funny joke.
They do some stuff. It is unspeakably boring. At one point a character says she is only there because she was in the comic. It is a post modern joke.
The guy from Spy Kids and the documentary on Victoria Wood picks up the band and makes them really really famous in one week. He does quite a lot of racist stuff to the bass player. I think he might be a klu klux klan member, which is dissapointing because he seemed very pleasant in the Victoria Wood documentary where he remembered Victoria Wood with incredible fondness and accuracy one day before the Victoria Wood Christmas Special, (controversially shown on Christmas Eve, not Christmas Day) in which he had a Cameo role, was broadcast.
Josie and the Pussycats go to number 1. Josie says to the rest of the pussycats “Hey, does anyone else think it’s a bit strange that all of this happened in 1 week?” POST MODERN JOKE NUMBER 2.
Suddenly we are in a record company. We go underground and see lots of people walking around and doing busy things.
I think that something went wrong at the DVD factory though because all of a sudden the film has the same actors and the same set and the same production values, but the plot has turned into “They Live.”
I fall asleep in front of the computer and Polly says “Go to bed David.”
I go up to bed for a sleep. I should have sent the DVD back to Lovefilm, but I can’t be bothered to boot up Polly’s computer.
Sometimes when I move my head I can hear my neck clicking.