I’ve started to become a little bit obsessed with the various Cash For Gold adverts that have been cropping up on daytime TV recently. Here’s an example if you’re unfamiliar. Let me start by saying these are extraordinary ads. I’ve been watching any number of them on You Tube. Really!

Firstly there based on the idea that all of us have hidden stashes of unwanted gold about the house. I don’t know about you but I’ve got loads of the stuff hidden under all diamonds. Secondly there’s something so creepy about that idea. Most people aren’t going to have unwanted gold, but now more than ever they might own gold that they need to sell. The adverts are obviously aimed at those people, but pretend to be aimed at a fictional demographic of people who have loads of spare gold, who might like to swap it for some Jimmy Choo’s. If you’ve gold to burn (or in this case melt) then you don’t need extra cash. What other adverts give examples of things you can spend money on? None, because the answer is obviously anything else. They’re trying to promote desperation as something aspirational. Horrible, horrible stuff, but then why are they so damn hypnotic.

Even celebrities doing a “Carol Vorderman” now; being drafted in to be the face of these awful companies. I suspect you were thinking you couldn’t lose any more respect for Dale Winton. Well, you were wrong.

As always the Americans are WAY ahead of us. Check out this advert featuring MC Hammer and Ed McMahon. They’ve at least got a better sense of humour and (let’s face it) irony about than we have. They’re not pretending to be something their not. Check out this ad if you need any more proof.